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Writer's pictureJennifer Beech

Survivor’s Guilt

Once you get out, you can start feeling some kind of way about how your life is versus the way academic life is. You actually have evenings free from work (well, most work). You may not work as much or as long on the weekends. You may even be making more money. You got out, but what about your fellow scholars? It’s possible to develop a type of survivor's guilt.


Like anything in life, you get some freedoms that come with other concerns. There are many benefits to life on the outside, but you may also miss some things about your former academic life. You may miss your colleagues who nerded out on the same subjects you do, the research you read, the speakers you heard. Academic life is attractive for a reason.


Let me offer some thoughts on this liminal space between two worlds. If you’ve read any of Sigmund Freud’s writing or know German, the term unheimlich comes to mind. Unheimlich is a bit hard to translate to English, but Freud uses the term to describe a mix of uneasiness and eeriness as “uncanny,” a little like deja vu. The early days of your transition can feel like this. And it may last longer than you think. I left the faculty side of higher education in 2016 when I graduated and I still get a pang or two every now and again for academic life. It’s like the phantom kicks of a baby some women report feeling years after they have given birth.


There is a part of you that will embrace your new role on the outside. Some of the same qualities that drew you to academic life will draw you to your new industry. You may have great colleagues who are smart and funny. You may be doing work that is related to your research. You may be working for causes you believe in.


Or none of things could be true and you could still enjoy life on the outside.


Humans are complicated indeed.


However, the unheimlich doesn’t last forever. You’ll settle in. You’ll find a way to keep the parts you enjoyed about academic life in your life. It is part of who you are. You’ve spent so many years as an academic or preparing to become one.


Another great way to feel your way through the unheimlich is to pay it forward. Share all the knowledge you have gained in your transition out of academia. You always wanted to help people. Give others the encouragement they need to transition if they choose.




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